i want to live in a community where i share things with others to utilize potential, where i can make huge meals every day to feed; i don't want to be stingy and keep my talents, ambitions, and belongings to myself. i want to make a living working with a group to provide a service where we each get to express ourselves by being involved in something we are proud of and don't think of as work because it is so satisfactory to us. the only problem is that i have no idea how to go about doing this. it seems like i am the only person who actually believes this can happen and is willing to do a bit of sacrificing to get it done.i miss my friends even though some of them are right next to me. i spend most of my time wishing that i wasn't so passionate about things and that i didn't care so much because its wearing me thin and at the moment i'm very lost as to what to do about it. i am in the process of teaching myself how to rely on others less for my self satisfaction and learning to live for myself. i feel as if i'm on the verge of finding something.
2 comments:
I think a lot of our friends want communal living where we all pull our talents, but for some of us - I say us because I am one of these friends - this isn't an option any time soon. I don't feel like I'm being selfish by taking care of debts and working hard for someone else, I feel like I'm preparing for and striving toward goals that we all discussed in college. Plus, I want to travel the world (and have the money to do so) before settling down in a big expanse of land and creating this community.
I love that you are so passionate about what you do momers, that's why I love being your friend. It's inspiring to be around someone who sets a goal and then actually follows up on it. I would've never taken the time to create so many things and brainstorm creations that I still want to make. You're rad, don't be discouraged! <3
lauren i see it differently. i don't think you are selfish for doing those things and working hard, i see you as one of the ones making sacrifices. you are putting a lot of ambitions aside to take care of the things you need to and do exactly what you said; strive towards a goal. i know you aren't 100% happy with your current situation but you are doing what you need to make yourself a happier person in the long run. that takes courage!
its not that i necessarily still long for the secluded communal living that we once discussed, but what i am searching for i haven't fully been able to understand. with the help of people like you i'll get there! <3
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