this is me

my most embarrassing moment

by monét

my most embarrassing moment happened when i got on a bus to go to austin. the bus was very checkered, so i stood up and held on to a dildo. at the next stop, i saw a slut get up and i ran over to grab his cunt, but i accidentally jabbed my clitoris into his dick and broke his pinky toe. and then, as i was apologizing the bus came to a smelly stop, which caused me to drop my body builder and fall on top of a smokey lady who was carrying a bong on her lap. believe me, my brownie was red that day!

(madlib filled out on the drive from austin to denton after sxsw)

i want this

SO BAD
went to the dog park with madison today and talked to a french bulldog (frenchy) owner who confirmed my desire for one of these adorably sassy dogs.